Speaking Up | How To Be Assertive

Speaking Up | How To Be Assertive

Speaking up is hard to do even when we know we should.

Being assertive was unknown territory for me. I preferred to be the “going with the flow” type because it allowed me to remain passive. Standing up for myself would be the hardest thing I had to learn.

I remember it being difficult for me to stand up for myself when I was pregnant. People are naturally attracted to pregnant women and someone always wanted to rub my belly. I had to work hard to gain the courage to say, “I know you are excited and so am I, but it makes me uncomfortable when you touch me without my consent”. After saying it, I felt so proud of myself for honoring my feelings and my body.

I used to have so much anxiety surrounding vulnerability, telling people how I felt or what was on my mind. I always thought it would make the situation worse. I was afraid of embarrassing myself and causing a scene. I didn’t want people to think I was rude and impolite. Unknowingly, I had this anxiety due to the people I chose to be around. The space was not safe. I had to make a decision: stand up for myself or continue to allow people to treat me any kind of way.

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Stop Explaining Yourself

Stop Explaining Yourself

Since becoming a parent I’ve found myself explaining myself more than I ever have. Why do it this way and not that way? Why left and not right? Circle and not square? Who knew everyone felt entitled to an explanation. 

If you’re anything like me, you’ve come to realize you have spent entirely too much time trying to justify yourself to other people. People who probably don’t even hold an important role in your life.

For me, It had gotten to the point where I was justifying myself as if I were on the stand in a court of law to strangers and even family, people I thought saw me for me.

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